Birdy desperately wants to fly away from the nest. Not because the nest is bad. But because he "needs" to. But, I can be comfortable in the fact that God knows the desires of my heart. I don't need to worry about pushing anything. I am right where I need to be, until he makes it painfully obvious. As hard as it is for me to swallow that. "Gulp," I can.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
2 words causing aghast out the wazooo!!!
OK, so i know i don't have a bad situation. In fact, it's quite good. I pretty much have the whole upstairs of my parents house to my-self. So, I know it really shouldn't bother me, but it does like crazy! When I hear my mom yell, "SUPPER'S READY!!" I swear my heart drops into my stomach. It is so frustrating because I am 20 years old, if i didn't have Multiple Sclerosis, I would NOT be living at home. Every part of me wishes i could be elsewhere. Now, sense i have said that, i must describe my home and parents. My parents are the most loving, patient, and caring human beings that I could have ever asked for. But the fact of the matter is, I need to be "free" I need to be on my own, making my own food, cleaning my own clothes. I need this Stem Cell Transplant to work. Birdy desperately wants to fly away from the nest. Not because the nest is bad. But because he "needs" to. But, I can be comfortable in the fact that God knows the desires of my heart. I don't need to worry about pushing anything. I am right where I need to be, until he makes it painfully obvious. As hard as it is for me to swallow that. "Gulp," I can.
Birdy desperately wants to fly away from the nest. Not because the nest is bad. But because he "needs" to. But, I can be comfortable in the fact that God knows the desires of my heart. I don't need to worry about pushing anything. I am right where I need to be, until he makes it painfully obvious. As hard as it is for me to swallow that. "Gulp," I can.
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Hey ya Mikey,
ReplyDeleteI was just catching up on your blog. I have the copies to be posted at the Academy for your Stem Cell Transplant. I am going to light the fire under some asses up here to give my Brother from another Mother a hand. Funny you should mention your parents and your nest that they created for you to grow an thrive from, to keep you safe and out of the way of harm. They are your protectors placed in your life by God. You never completely leave the nest, shit I am 36 and still hang onto every word, minute, second that I am blessed to have my Mom. She is my nest, my emotional comfort zone, my straight up Hero. When I hear "Dinner's Ready" or even "What the Hell are you doing" I laugh, Dude it's not the words I so much care about, It's the simple fact that she is saying them. I love you Mikey, now go sit your ass at the dinner table and laugh, laugh with your family.
I know the feeling. And trust me when I say it's even harder to go back when you realize you may not have really been ready. But I do have some good news in this comment, I interviewed to get my old job at the Sheriff's department back and at 3:00 Friday afternoon they called and set up an appointment for a polygraph! This is good because last time I got hired for this job the polygraph meant you were hired!!! But wait, there's more! I have been praying about buying my grandma's house and the answer I got was a new job...if this all comes to fruition, I may be in the hunt for roommates...
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