Spring breAK day 2

$334.79 is the price of the round trip ticket I just purchased from Travelocity for my trip to and from AZ. this summer. I am pretty stoked, pretty darn stoked in deed. Now, there will be another set of tickets that I will need this summer. Ya see, I am going to be in Arizona for my "paid" internship at a Young Life camp from May 13th to August 17th, but I will have to come back from June 11th to June 22nd in order to take our kids to a camp in North Carolina called Windy Gap. I am stoked about all of the above. I still have to get the tickets for when I come back to Fort Wayne in June, and my friend from Cali will not be able to help this time. So, it is going to be a lot of money spent this summer on air fare.... :o) But, of all the things I could spend money on, I really don't mind spending it on air fare, I love flying more than anything, and it is for God's work. I just think of all the opportunities I have on planes and in airports to witness to people. It get's me excited. I love my job. I love that I get paid to hang out with little kids. You could take all the "negative attributes" associated with elementary kids, and multiply them by 3, and they wouldn't even come close to negating from the good times I have with them. And I think that says a lot. Did what I just say make sense??Anyways, when I got off work today, I hung out with Nick. We have a good time together. Today, I took him to get pizza, and then we headed back to his house to play some Banjo-Kazooie on X-Box 360. It is a good game, and fun to talk whilst you play it. I mentioned Windy Gap tonight to Nick. I think some of the walls are being broken down with Nick about Young Life. I think it's a good thing, and I really really really want Nick to go to camp more than anything. I do I do I do.

So that was primarily my day today. God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good.

church & library & more church OH MY!

I was amazed, blown away, nourished, enlightened, and empowered by today. Let's look back on the events that took place. Pay attention though, because it does not make a whole lot of sense until the end. Well, I started off at Alliance Community Church. The last time I was here, it was super bowl Sunday. It was great, really great. I liked it a lot, and felt super comfortable there. ~CLICK HERE~ to be reminded of just how comfortable I was. I'm just saying, I love feeling welcomed, and to have God just BE THERE, ya know. It is a beautiful thing when, as Dave would say, "the cause is more important than the people." WOW DOES THAT NEED TO BE TRUE IN EVERY CHURCH!! But anyways, check this out. When church get's out, I go straight to the library. Ohh yes, that is correct, THE LIBRARY!This was my place of study. This picture was taken when I was finishing up my Bible study for the week. And those stripes on my shirt were from the new Polo I got, I look good in it. I'm just saying.... STUDY time was good because on Chapter 7 in my Elements of Law class, I studied and studies a real hard chapter, and got an A+ on the online quiz I had to take. It was 10 questions, you have a maximum of 1 hour to take it, and I finished in 5 minutes. That means I spent thirty seconds on each question. That is pretty good I do believe.

I had made a decision last Sunday at Dave church. I made a decision based on my friend George's reaction after we left. George, who is turning his life around, in an amazing and GOD driven sort of way, said to me, "I really feel at peace there." This in itself, is a huge statement for George. George struggles with anxiety, and does not feel comfortable around strangers. I brought him to Dave church the first time a while back, like 6 weeks ago and he got dropped right into the thick of it. Loud singing and praising to God. I knew it was what he needed, but could only tell him by throwing him into it. I knew he was ready, and I guess I just kind of assumed God would do the rest. I had faith that He would. I rambeled a little bit, i'm not sorry, but I will get back to the library now. The DECISION I had made was that I had to get George back. Ya see, when we left last week, George said to me, "man, we should get some pizza and stay and chill with them." The two times we had gone before last week, he was real antsy to get out of there a.s.a.p. I knew it was a "God thing." So, as soon as he said that, I went with it right away. In fact, God told me that needed to take precedence over whatever else.It was not an audible voice, but it might as well have been. I believe fully that when the Holy Spirit puts something on your heart, you just know it. And the Holy Spirit also gives discernment to know what is of Him, and what is not. So now the CONFLICT came around. I am committed to Young Life. I knew there was a chance I had a Young Life meeting, but instead of checking it right away, and planning accordingly. I just didn't. I suppose maybe I knew inside I would have one, but just didn't want to deal with any possible confliction. So, when I was at the library today I got a text message reminding me along with all the other leaders that we had a Young Life meeting. DO'OH!! It happened. I replied and said briefly that I could not attend because of something important. I got a message back....then a phone call from the YL area director. We talked for a while, and I explained it, but I kind of sugar coated it. I didn't lie directly to him, but sort of in a way. I beat around the bush, and didn't tell him I "kind of had an idea" that we had a meeting. Instead I left him with the thought that I "forgot." I did not tell him what I knew in my heart, which was that God told me to take George. Maybe because I didn't want to tell him that and then find out it was not true.... So I took George, and did not go to the leader meeting. Turns out that tonight was a huge breakthrough for George and Dave Church. We, as a church talked about something really important at Dave church tonight. We talked about our plan as a church. We got some specific things to pray about, and a plan of action in Christ to flow with. George heard it, and said, "I have never really been a part of a church before, it has never really made sense till I came here. I want to be part of this, can I be a part of this?" I about fell apart. My eyes were literally welling up with tears. This was amazing! George "get's it," and see's that what we are doing is for Christ. Like Dave said, the Cause (spreading the news of Salvation) must be more important than the people (body of believers in the Church). That does not mean that you should not build up the body, or grow them, quite the opposite in fact. It was a beautiful thing. God amazes me over and over again. I wrote a lot today. I threw in some pictures to lessen the blow though. Hope it all made sense. :o)

P.S. I tried to call Josh (YL area director) tonight. But, he was not available. I will be calling him tomorrow first thing to tell him exactly what was going on, and apologizing for not being 100% straight forward and explaining why I was not.

it is FREEZING!!

Currently as I write, It is -12, it feels like it is -32. That is, umm COLD. This is a new kind of cold for me. I don't ever remember it being this cold outside. Wowzers, just WOWZERS!! Thursday's sure are long days for me. I mean I have classes and work all day. Lots of reading to stay up on, and all kinds of work to do. I have a morning mass communication class from 9:00-10:15 that I go to right from work, then an interpersonal communication class at 1:30-2:45 where I leave and go directly back to work. I get out of work, do some reading and go back to school at 7:30 for my journalism/photography class. It get's over at 10:15PM!! Ouch! Long day. The above picture was taken in class. The prof. is an old photographer for one of the big news papers in Fort Wayne, and he is a pretty cool dude. I am really going to enjoy this class. I saw this car walking out of class. It is so tiny. Tiny car's are kind of funny. I would feel so silly driving in that car. Or maybe not, maybe I would feel really really cool driving in it. I am kind of curious as to how it actually drives. What is the top speed, and how does it handle. It is supposed to be extremely safe, but that is hard for me to understand.

God is good, even when life is not, God is so good. He is always there to lift me up, to soothe me and comfort me. He is my friend, He is my greatest listener. He does not stay quiet when I need to be spoken to, and I am so extremely blessed when he decides to use me to drive out His plan. What an honor it is to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. And to that, I give you a smiley face. :o)

gross disapointment

The title of Today's post could have been "The Matt Struggle" and made just as much sense to me. Today, my cousin Matt (who has been living with my parents & I since August) decided for whatever reasons that today was the day he would buy a car and "move on with life." He said that he had to do this for his independence and as a part of "being a man." Ever since Matt has moved in, he has been growing in leaps and bounds in Christ. Making new spiritual discoveries as well as connecting some of the dot's in his own life. He has gotten involved with an accountability group and just done really awesome things. The fact that he has been able to keep his job for as long as he has speaks wonders to where he has come from and where he wants to be. Well, today, I feel was a huge step backward. Ever since he started spending time with a guy from work, Matt has been....well changing. I have seen this change before in my own life and it is NO GOOD. His outlook on things has been changing, and he has been not prompted to be in the word, or even looking for God. Although he said he came to his decision after prayer and much contemplation, I don't believe him (I can't know for sure....). This is what it came down to. Matt decided it was time to buy a car. RIGHT NOW, he wanted it and made up his mind. A very extremely foolish decision, but the one he made. My mother, father and myself tried and tried to talk logic and common sense into him, but he was locking it all out. It seemed as though someone has planted this idea in his mind that he really needed to do this (new friends), he says it is all his own decision. He decided that he would go to a buy here/pay here and get himself a car. No matter how much they bent him over and screwed him, he was going to do this. No matter that in his past he has done this I think 3 times, and each time had to have his car repowed. He was going to do this and that was that. We tried to talk good God fearing logic into his head. But I am serious, he wouldn't have it. Although he says he wants accountability, and help, he was a closed door. It sucked so much to see that, and I know where it will most likely lead him.

So, he was going to have a guy from the car lot pick him up. But, I told him I would take him.I sat in there and listened to this guy take advantage of Matt. And watch a guy who can't save a penny blow everything he has worked so hard to get. It was painful to watch. It didn't have anything to do with all the time I have put into Matt, it had everything to do with me seeing that he is beginning to walk back down the road of destruction. One might say, "well it's only a car," but in Matt's case, it is so much more. It got to the point where I was so extremely frustrated and sad that I told him, "Matt, I am intensely disappointed, if you need me, please call." And that was that, he didn't come back home, and that is that.The day ended and it finally came down to this. I said, "well, what step do we take with Matt now?" We discussed that we need to love him. Love him unconditionally, and realize that we did everything that we could to impact him in Christ. That God is in control, and no matter where Matt's life goes from here, we are continue to impact him in love. That we are not to stand as individuals who will enable him to make or continue in bad decisions, but that we musn't ever give up, or just write him off. It kind of makes you "GULP" in your throat, because if you know Matt how I know Matt, you know the likely outcome. But, God is bigger than any of my preconceived notions of how things will go. I trust that this happened for a reason, and that I did everything I could. I am frustrated and sad, but that's okay. God is good, ohh yes, God is good.

these halls were made for loving

I was in awe after I left Snider (school I do contact work in for Young Life) today. Left and right kids were just opening their souls up to me and allowing me to not only poke and prod into territory that is typically forbidden, but were loving and willing enough to allow me to gently provide insight and words of comfort. Now I was not providing answers and a guide to end all pain, just served as a caring individual who wants to genuinely take an interest in their lives. It's a beautiful thing when this all comes into focus and things make sense. It is a beautiful thing when you pray and pray for specific individuals to be impacted in a way, and then see God not only impact in the way you specifically prayed for, but to see God go way beyond what you ever thought was possible.

Tonight at Young Life, we played this crazy game. We took a 26' intertube, and made it do things you wouldn't think possible of a 26' bike intertube. It was controlled chaos at it's best.
After the craziness of the games and fun singing and what not. I gave the talk tonight. I gave a talk over the story in Matthew 19:13-15. I started off by sharing a story of when I was a little kid, and some of the insane crazy antics I was up to. I used a couple of pictures of me when I was a young buck to kind of set the tone for who little kids are and how they can act, both good and CRAZY!! Here are the two pictures of "little mikey" I used.I was an adorable little kid. Seriously, just look at that curly hair and that look, it just makes you wanna say "awwww." Well, the kids loved it anyways. The way I went with this was that Jesus was not this guy who only choose to be with the uppity high class society, he wanted to be with the smalls of society. He wanted to be with the children of the world, and even went so far as to say that the kingdom belongs to children such as these. WOW! We are painting this on going picture of, "who is this Jesus guy?" He hangs out with prostitutes, tax-collectors, nobody's, children, degenerates of society. He loves on them and just spreads the Good Word. It is such a powerful and amazingly sweet thing to see and be a part of. What a privdlage for me to be able to impact the lives of young people. It is needed so badly, there is so much pain and grief walking through the halls of Snider. If I just let all my true emotions out when I walk in those halls, and didn't try to be a quote, unquote, "STRONG FIGURE." I would just well up in tears constantly over what some of these kids are going through. WOW!! God is sooo GOOD!!

Golly Gee, God Gradually Get's Gooder.

Infusion # 8 of Tysabri was today. So far, so GOOD! Today would mark month 8, and my health continues on GOOD AS GOLD (knocking on wood). I wanted to include some video of the infusion process.

Having the actual needle placed into my vein is not a problem. It is that darn tape that is so excruciatingly painful. When the tape comes off, so does all the hair on my hairy arms. OUCH!!! Today was really a blessing at the hospital. I was so hungry, and they brought me out this meal, and it tasted so good. It looked really good too. I could tell the cook actually put some time trying to make it pretty, it looked good, and more importantly, it tasted awesome! I am not going to diss on hospital food any longer after this experience.Now doesn't that look pretty? :-)

Today, after I got my infusion, I met up with Tom (Young Life staff) to talk about a the "talk" I will be giving next Wednesday at club. After speaking with him, I am getting so totally excited about it. It is going to be just awesome. I have no worries, God will use it for whatever his purpose is going to be. I just want to make myself a vessel for him to use. Tom is to the left, and I am sitting to the right.....It is kind of a funny picture of us, because I don't usually have my shirt off, I have gained some weight.

In the evening, I went to BSF. It was such a good time. I get so much out of the talks now, it is very uplifting. I wish I had time to explain things I learned and took from the talk tonight in great detail, but I don't. SO, I am just going to highlight the grand points, and explain in brevity how they are impacting my life.

This last week, we went through (Exodus 6:28-10:29), the first 9 plagues that God sent to the Egyptians. There were some amazingly challenging questions, and insights I took from the talk Jack gave tonight. CQ stands for challenge question(s).

*What will it take to surrender fully to God and abandon all other God's?
~Pharaoh hardened his heart & showed an obvious lack of fear for God.
-Sin has hardened man's heart. It is when I diligently refuse to submit to God that I choose NOT to follow Him.
~I must accept the obvious path God is leading me to. By refusing to do so, I am "diligently refusing to submit to God."
-Courage to do hard things in God's will glorifies Him.
-The longer sinners resist God's will, and refuse his word, the louder he speaks through judgment.

(?)CQ(?) How has God kept me safe?
How or when have I chosen to ignore God or hiw will?

FINAL NOTE:
Satan wants humans to believe that compromising to unGodly things is okay. It is when we compromise, that Satan is able to slowly get rid of the thorny ball, and turn it into a smooth ball, easy to handle. I remember my 5th grade teacher use to tell us that that when we tell lies, there is a ball inside us, that has sharp thorns sticking out of it. Every time we lie, the ball turns a little bit. At first it hurts to lie (regret, guilt, etc.), but after a while, the sharp thorns sticking out get worn off and it becomes very easy and painless. That is how I envision consistent sin, not being given to the lord looking like.

These notes really impact me deeply because of some challenges I have set for myself in my life.