derrotado

I needed to vent for a little bit. Sometimes it is just good to let it out. I know I have it good, I know this for a fact. But, even people who have it good at times need to vent. This is what it looks like and sounds like.
I did something interesting tonight. I studied and studied, which was frustrating, but I got enough done to say that I was productive. Then I went downstairs (I was studying upstairs in my room) and talked with my rents. I had all this nervous energy, and my dad said, "why don't you go for a run?" I said, "I hate running, I always get side aches." My dad said, "why don't you just walk when you get a side ache?" I said, "well gee, I dunno." So, I went out for a run! It felt really good, and I went way way further than I thought I could. I could have run longer, but I figured 35 minutes of running was enough. The secret was to find a rhythm. A rhythm in breathing, steps, arm movements, etc. It all worked really good. I came home, took a conquering shower, and now I am blogging. I felt overwhelmed this morning and early afternoon. Pretty discouraged and not very good. I had to do a lot of self-processing today. God is so patient, an attribute I want to gain more and more of. I think that this whole idea of finding a good rhythm is going to be a theme. I need to find a good rhythm with school, Young Life, with struggles and fun and all things pertaining to life.

Janice, I hope you had so so so so so much fun at the concert (she went to a Blink 182 concert tonight). I am trying to listen more, to slow my thoughts and just watch for the small life lessons.

Today is for YESTERDAY

Because I was so tired yesterday, as soon as I got home and took a defeating shower I went right to sleep. I didn't pass go, I didn't collect $20, I PASSED OUT! But, Yesterday was awesome, and I have tons of sweet pictures, so here is the "MAKE UP BLOG."

Well, I am back baby! Back in the good'ole halls of Snider High School! It feels really good to be able to connect with kids again in this specific way. I love being in that school and around all those kids. I just get filled with joy every time. The vibe I was getting was that kids were READY to get back into Young Life!!

Our first Young Life Club was crazy. The kids definately came ready to have a lot of fun. This was much appreciated because the leaders were ready to give it to um. I am just going to throw some pictures of the night and let them tell their own story.

Don't wanna forget about the slip & slide.

We had two huge tarps full of Cool Whip. Yummy!

The girls loved it!

The guys loved it!

And don't let my face fool you, I LOVED IT TOO!!

Here is how it works. You get messy, you stand in line like cattle and get sprayed down (you gotta be wet to go really far), and then you SLIP & SLIDE!

Number 1 reason why I loved Young Life Club today. We present the message of Jesus Christ while directly having shloads of fun. I love how they can work together. The Holy Spirit was in that place in a big way tonight!

campus crusades & birthday pizza

Today was Nicky's B-Day!! I had told him last weekend that I would take him out to do something "special" as soon as I got out of class. As soon as class was over, I drove over to his house and started thinking what would be special. . . . what could I do? Then it hit me, BIRTH DAY PIZZA AT OUR FAVORITE P-ZA place!

It went over well, and Nick really loved it. The pizza guy said to me, "Man it is my little girls birth day tomorrow, and I don't know why, but I never thought of this. I am totally making her a b-day pizza tomorrow." I smiled, thanked him, and took off.

I went back to school to study study study my Spanish Spanish Spanish. Making flash cards, studying my flash cards and so on. Literally for 3 hours straight I studied. I had time to kill because my friend and fellow Young Life leader Ben invited me to go to Campus Crusades where he would be giving the talk about Scripture. I was totally down for that. Campus Crusades is a ministry at my University where we sing, talk with each other (fellowship), study the Word, and then one of the leaders gives a talk. It was so good, and there was probably about 70 students there. I had so much fun! There was so much energy and everyone was parsing God like crazy! It was very refreshing to know there are a strong hand full of people my age at my University that love the lord so much.

back at BSF and boy it sure feels good.

Now I did many, many things today, but I want to focus on what was most important to me. The thing that stood out to me today was me getting back into BSF. Ohh it felt so good. And looking back on the night getting back into BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) I can sincerely say that studying the word is the only thing that I really enjoy to learn about. It is the only thing I can study that makes any real sense. This year we are studying the Gospel of John. So tonight I met and got to meet my small group for the first time, then I got to hear the first lecture of the year. Boy it was good. Here are some of the key things I pulled from it.

**We gain knowledge of the Bible through study (that means actually spending time in the Bible other than listening to the pastor tell you on Sunday morning).

** We gain insight of the Bible through meditation (that means actually attempting to apply what you read and learn to every day life).

This next one I really really like. **The greatest cure to trouble in my life/our lives is to focus on Jesus. If you focus on the actual trouble all the time, you will be troubled. If you focus on Jesus all the time, he will infect your mood, attitude, thoughts, and actions. AND, there will my strength lie.

John 20:31 states the purpose of the book of John. It does so very precisely and doesn't mess around.

**What is the focus of my life?

I love that my notes are compiled of mostly questions. BSF calls them challenge questions, and I find that a well placed question is much more impacting and insightful than any amount of given knowledge. Sooo true.

Janice, I think of you more times through the day than I can count on my hands and feet put together. I am so thankful you are in my life, and it is made more clear to me each day why you are in my life. Such a motivating and good thing. Love you miss!

Saeglópur (Crash Overdrive Remix) - Sigur Ros

This is Sigur Ros - Saeglópur (Crash Overdrive Remix). I have been listening to this song A LOT. I know it is strange, but I am totally into this song. I love everything about it. It is totally weird too, but I could care less. Strange though, for me, music has been something I am completely independent on. No one around me, except for my best friend Jared supports my odd music choices. I love it though. Really love it, I usually smile right in the beginning of this song because it is so intense. I love cranking the volume up and enjoying the heck out of it. By the way, you cannot enjoy it by only listening to the 30 sec. preview.

On more important note. TODAY WAS THE FIRST OFFICAL SUNDAY MORNING LIFELIGHT CHURCH!!! It was really good, and I am super proud to be a part of it. I can't wait to get a check again so I can give some money. Oh, and Nicky went with me. It was so cool to see God working in him. God was doing all kinds of crazy things to really make him think. Nick is in the picture, lower right corner. I hope he keeps coming back with me. But if he doesn't, I hope that God stirrs in his heart in a big and changing way.

I wrote a paper for class. . . but ended up not reading a bunch of stuff I should have.

Then I hung out with Young Life kids. I have so much that needs to get accomplished tomorrow, I should be pretty stressed, but I am trying hard not to.

I am hurting, physically. Guess where? Yea, that is where. I need to go to bed and hope that this pain will stop. . . . . I will go to the Urologist as soon as I can get an appointment tomorrow.

Moving in, riding bikes, studying

What a surprise today turned out to be. Now when I woke up today, I knew that it was going to be a good day. I just didn’t know how good it was going to be. I started my Saturday morning at 7:15am. I got around and drove to where my sister has been living for a while now. It was time for Mer (my sister) to move on, physically; meaning her housing situation, and relationally; meaning her past relationship. I met at her old house, and helped move things into different vehicles. She had a guy from work help out, there was my car, there was Audra & Ally, and of course Mer’s car. So we packed things in and drove them 3 or 4 blocks down to her new residence. I really like the new place a lot.

This place was originally built in 1926, that is really really old. It is actually in good condition though. There are little things here and there that could use some work, but seriously for $335/mo and she only pays electricity, well that's pretty darn good. I was done helping her around 10:45am, then I went straight to the River Greenway (Place in Fort Wayne where there are miles and miles of walk ways/bike ways for people to ride all around the city. They are super nice and taken care of, and well it was amazingly fun. I went with a handfull of Young Life guys and another leader Ben. We had a blast!! This was the staging area (parking lot). Mitchell, the one who is sitting on my car to the left was the brains behind this adventure. I was of course taking pictures. It is really not safe to take a picture with my phone while going really fast and only riding with one hand. Luckily I did not smash myself. We really had an awesome time though. It was such a beautiful day, and eventually we found like a sweet area with hills, jumps, and other super challenging things to take your bike on. I of course was covered in really wet and nasty mud in what seemed like seconds. It was still really awesome though. We went back to Mitchell's house, where Ben and I lead a rousing game of Ultimate Frisbee. Dang I love that game!

I left around 3pm, went home, talked to Janice, took a shower, and went to the 24 hour study lab at school. I studied Geology like crazy! Probably for 3+ hours. When I couldn't stand any more, I went over to hang out with Nicky. We went to Wall-Mart and he got a Beatles CD (his first ever) and then we went back to his house where a simple talk of the COSMOS lead to a pretty amazing conversation about God and life. I ended up asking him if he wanted to go to church with me tomorrow at Life Light Church, and he said YES! I am excited becaues he gets to enjoy Life Light Church with me for the first time on Sunday morning. IT IS GOING TO BE SO SWEET!! I can't wait, and I am so extremely glad he is going. :o)

Janice,I super hope that your serving went flawlessly for the first time. I am sure it did, but I hope you felt comfortable and that everything just went really well for you. I can't wait to tell you about things that happened tonight. It was a really good day. Love ya!

pain. . . the bad kind

Okay, long story short. This summer when I was in Arizona, I hurt my testicles. I know that is not something I should talk about, but it is the truth. I lifted a rock that was way way too heavy. It was not hernia, and I thought the pain would go away. It did not. Lately it has been hurting again, and when it hurts, it hurts REALLY BAD! I was going to, of course, ignore it for "just one more week." When I told Janice that it was no big deal, she made me promise her that I would go and get it checked out. So I did just that. I went to RediMed and had it checked out. It was a little awkyard at first, but hey we are all adults. . . for the most part anyways.

Turns out it was a really good thing I went. I still don't have hernia, and that is good. BUT, they did find blood in my urine, and that is not so good. I will get an ultrasound, but the physican at the clinic was pretty dumbfounded. He was pretty darn sure it was not something serious, because testicular cancer is not painful, and this is really painful. So, I will see a urologist soon, and just see what is going on. :o) That is my post, sorry if it was kind of vulger, sometimes life is just that way.