awww shoot

I didn't do much today. I mean I worked, at the central YMCA, where they are having a winter break thing for kids who still need day car b/c their parents are at work, BUT, it was lame and I had to leave 2 hours early.......I shouldn't complain because some work is better than no work, I should be thankful, should be...

I spent time at the YMCA near my house and worked out like crazy, and read this book I am working on. It is really good, and opening my eyes to new and awesome things about God.

Then, when I was at home I took a picture of myself that I want to share, because, well I just think I ought to.

the day the ICE took over

Well, the back yard was impacted greatly by this ice storm that just recently flew threw. I am afraid to say we lost some good~ole~boys. Yes, they fell hard and will not be getting back up. I have some pictures to depict what I am talking about.The first picture shows a nice fella who was just enjoying the Ice, not hurting a flea. Well, his life came to an end when the wind picked up and decided the time for him to stand was OVER. Now his friend is depicted in the second picture. He tried to do the right thing and stand firm for his friend. In all actuality, he will eventually fall too. There is just way too much weight pushing on him....his days are numbered. The third picture is the tree that had no chance. If he had a name, maybe it would be frank. Maybe it would be Ron. I don't know for sure, but I know he will lay and wait until it becomes warmer, where I will take a chain saw to him and lay him aside to dry out. That is that.

I thought about a really neat parable or metaphor to equate pine tree's and their short root systems to that of a new Christian. BUT, for the sake of not sounding like a pompous ass, I decided not to share it (it was good, but possibly just bad timing). Farewell good tree's, you served well to the forest creatures that used you to eat in and poop from.

Matt update

I have good news. I have been praying, along with my parents and a few people that I have informed about Matt's situation. Praying that God do what he needs to do in Matt's life. Not what I think should happen, not what my parents think should happen, but that God's will be done. (big breath/sigh), that is taking a step in faith to be able to say and believe that. Because believing that allows the reality that times may get really tough for Matt. BUT, as a friend and I were coming from Dave Church, I got a phone call. At 8:26PM, Matt called me and informed me that he had made some mistakes, and realized that my parents and I had his best interest at heart the whole time. He asked if he could come back home, because he has had a really bad past two days. With a smile on my face and almost a tear in my eye, I assured him he would be welcomed home. He got home, and said how he was in desperate need of sleep. He promised us he would talk tomorrow, and it was left at that. He mentioned some of the things he was doing, and he did mess up. But, I have been there and done that. I needed unconditional love, and TONS OF PATIENCE. I would be king hyprocrit if I did not treat him the same way. That is that from my end. Love, love, love is what I must show.

gross disapointment

The title of Today's post could have been "The Matt Struggle" and made just as much sense to me. Today, my cousin Matt (who has been living with my parents & I since August) decided for whatever reasons that today was the day he would buy a car and "move on with life." He said that he had to do this for his independence and as a part of "being a man." Ever since Matt has moved in, he has been growing in leaps and bounds in Christ. Making new spiritual discoveries as well as connecting some of the dot's in his own life. He has gotten involved with an accountability group and just done really awesome things. The fact that he has been able to keep his job for as long as he has speaks wonders to where he has come from and where he wants to be. Well, today, I feel was a huge step backward. Ever since he started spending time with a guy from work, Matt has been....well changing. I have seen this change before in my own life and it is NO GOOD. His outlook on things has been changing, and he has been not prompted to be in the word, or even looking for God. Although he said he came to his decision after prayer and much contemplation, I don't believe him (I can't know for sure....). This is what it came down to. Matt decided it was time to buy a car. RIGHT NOW, he wanted it and made up his mind. A very extremely foolish decision, but the one he made. My mother, father and myself tried and tried to talk logic and common sense into him, but he was locking it all out. It seemed as though someone has planted this idea in his mind that he really needed to do this (new friends), he says it is all his own decision. He decided that he would go to a buy here/pay here and get himself a car. No matter how much they bent him over and screwed him, he was going to do this. No matter that in his past he has done this I think 3 times, and each time had to have his car repowed. He was going to do this and that was that. We tried to talk good God fearing logic into his head. But I am serious, he wouldn't have it. Although he says he wants accountability, and help, he was a closed door. It sucked so much to see that, and I know where it will most likely lead him.

So, he was going to have a guy from the car lot pick him up. But, I told him I would take him.I sat in there and listened to this guy take advantage of Matt. And watch a guy who can't save a penny blow everything he has worked so hard to get. It was painful to watch. It didn't have anything to do with all the time I have put into Matt, it had everything to do with me seeing that he is beginning to walk back down the road of destruction. One might say, "well it's only a car," but in Matt's case, it is so much more. It got to the point where I was so extremely frustrated and sad that I told him, "Matt, I am intensely disappointed, if you need me, please call." And that was that, he didn't come back home, and that is that.The day ended and it finally came down to this. I said, "well, what step do we take with Matt now?" We discussed that we need to love him. Love him unconditionally, and realize that we did everything that we could to impact him in Christ. That God is in control, and no matter where Matt's life goes from here, we are continue to impact him in love. That we are not to stand as individuals who will enable him to make or continue in bad decisions, but that we musn't ever give up, or just write him off. It kind of makes you "GULP" in your throat, because if you know Matt how I know Matt, you know the likely outcome. But, God is bigger than any of my preconceived notions of how things will go. I trust that this happened for a reason, and that I did everything I could. I am frustrated and sad, but that's okay. God is good, ohh yes, God is good.

I came to be a blessing, but the blessing is on me

Since Fort Wayne Community Schools (school system of the elementary school that I do YMCA childcare at) canceled today, my work canceled. :o() This was actually okay with me because I got to sleep in, and just kind of lay low. The city is covered with ICE. Ice is everywhere. Check out these pictures.

Yes, Yes, Ice was on everything. Tree's are falling on power lines all over the city. I heard a statement that there are 70,000+ homes in Fort Wayne and the surrounding areas with no power. My brother Travis is one of them. I texted him today, and he said it may be Christmas Eve till he has power again. Ughhh, that sucks so much.

Well, eventually I went out and did some looking/shopping. I found what I didn't want. I decided online was going to be the way to go this year. My mom is the most important to buy for. If I please her, all is well. That's just the way it is. :-)

When I was driving home through my neighborhood I saw many people attempting to clear the ice off their driveway. There was one little old'er lady who really looked like she was struggling. She was working on one little corner of her huge driveway, but wasn't making much leeway. I decided as I drove by that I would take care of her driveway for her. It was a steep one so it took importance. I went home, changed clothes and headed to her house. Without even informing her, I started clearing away. She found out I was clearing when the mail lady had to deliever a piece of mail to her door. Half way through the clearing she called me up to her door. She said that she would pay me, and I politely turned it down. After much debate, she informed me that I had to at least accept $10.oo, so I took it. She seemed very thankful, and that was that. Well, I had it put on my heart to keep looking around the neighborhood for anyone else who was in need of help. I found a guy. His name turned out to be Ray Harrison. I had no idea who he was when I drove up on him. All I knew was that he was a gentlemen older than my parents who had one hand on a scraper, and the other on his back. He looked like he was in pain, so I knew what I was going to do. I started helping, and we started talking. Turns out he is an associate pastor for the Church I grew up in (Grabill Missionary). It was such an awesome blessing. We had more in common than I thought possible. He had a stem cell therapy not too long ago for a rare bone cancer he was diagnosed with. We knew so many of the same people, it was awesome. Also, he had a sweet English accent which made talking to a really cool dude even cooler!! He blessed me by giving me some sound advice on a minor struggle, and then praying for me when we were all done. His wife also gave me some X-Mas cookies which were THE BOMB!! It was very unique and awesome.

The day ended with me taking the $10 bucks I got from that lady and buying a pizza at Za-Time Pizza which is a new pizza place that I am connected to in a pretty cool way (not cool enough for me to say). I bought it, and took it over to Chris's house to share. We watched The Dark Knight and it was cool. THE END.

Celebratory day of my birth

What do ya know, December 18th has once again rolled around. I am still living at home, and I suppose this is where God wants me. I am okay with that for the most part.....slightly unsettled, but nothing big. I dunno.....I am 22 now though.

My day started off by me picking my sister up from her girl friends house, and taking her to work. She has no car right now because it is getting fixed. I wanted to take a picture of her in my car, but I totally forgot to do so. SO, I snapped a picture of her seat right after the fact.Once I dropped her off I went to school to my parking garage of choice. I spent some time reading this book I started yesterday. I really like it a lot.When 11:00AM rolled around I headed over to Snider for some contact work. It was real good.

Back to work, then after work I went to Dave Church where Dave was having an open house of sorts. He put a column in the local newspaper for a couple small towns, and told people to come on out for food, and talk, and fun. It was all that and more. I got to see some old friends, and enjoyed it quite heavily. My birthday was, well pretty freaking average, but I suppose I forced that. Goodbye

BLOG from ER

Well, I took my last final this morning, and now i'm sitting in the ER, about to get my monthly infusion(m/s medicine). I have about 3 hours to sit here and read this book my friend phil gave me to read b/c he said it was amazing. I am am stoked to start this thing. :-)

-Grace&Peace

my toof feewls fuanny

Most of the morning after work took place in the Library, but I forgot to go to take my phone this morning, so I didn't get to take a picture from the library. But, there were books, and some desks, and people around being quiet and what not.

After the jam session a.k.a. study session, I had to go to the dentist to get a filling. I so wish I would have had my phone, because there are no pictures better than dentist pictures than I like to share. When I left the dentist, my eye looked like this>>>I don't know why the heck it does this every once and a while. It just gets extremely bloodshot in one confined area, and stays that way for an extended period of time. Doesn't hurt, isn't dry or anything like that. Just gets really really bloodshot...very strange Also, my friggin mouth hurt like crazy. Silly filling had me feeling numb and enlarged, although one couldn't tell just by outward appearance. I took 2 pictures to illustrate what I am talking about.

This one is how I looked>>This one depicts how I felt>>>

After dentist, I went back home for a little bit more study time. And then headed back to work. At work we got some snow finally. I stayed an hour later than I am supposed to because it took so long for parents to get to school ta pick up their kids. I had to get home because I agreed to be a servor for my moms Christmas party for her *stitch group*(group of ladies/close friends that have been meeting for "ages" to talk, eat, and do crafts and what not). They all get each other X-Mas gifts, and instead of my mom getting the gal's physical gifts, she made them one amazing dinner. I served the food, wine, and was just a very handsome gentlemen to enjoy looking at. ;o)I snuck this picture while my mom was praying over dinner. They had a grand~ole~time tonight.

And of course, the SERVER!! Yes, literally feet away from the room where my mom and her friends were having dinner, I sat my phone down, struck a pose, and snapped a picture of myself to share with the world. SOAK IT UP!! Kidding, but seriously, just lap this up because it is filling. I'm just playing, but in all honesty, immensely enjoy this.

When I was dismissed I went over to Chris's new apartment. I did this for a couple of reasons.

• I wanted to drive in the snow
• I wanted to play GTA 4
• I wanted to give Chris some food that my mom made for her party, because he friggin loves my moms cooking (as does the greater majority of anyone who can taste)
• did I mention I love driving in snow?

So, yea, it was a good day.