Now hear this. My day started off with some good stuff. I mean some really good stuff. Reconciliation was my aim, and that was exactly what I got. I have allowed this figurative wall of space, time, distance, emotional separation, and ego get in the way of me loving my friend Tom (different Tom than yesterday). To make a long story short, I texted Tom mid week seeking to meet up with him and set things back on the right path with our relationship. We met this morning, and that is exactly what happened. It felt so good just to sit with him and talk. About life, God, people, etc.
This was supposed to be a candid photo, but the flash went off, and Tom caught me. I was not very "James Bond" with that move. Well, I stayed in the coffee house and did my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). There was a lady who kept giving me a very odd look. She was probably in her early 40's, and I believe she was there for a book club. But, the whole time I was in there she kept giving me this look. I didn't know how to take it. I would have said something, but she left before I had the chance. Just one of those odd things in life I suppose. I really love my BSF time of study. It is honestly the only thing that I really enjoy studying, or feel is of any real worth. Everything else is just something I have to do to prove a point for the sake of education. . . it sucks, but I am slowly accepting it. Except for Spanish. Spanish will be the death of me I swear it! Finally I made it to the library. I read, and read and read for hours. I took notes, made flash cards, and just studied my butt off. Mostly without any large distractions. Janice had a crazy day of school from very early to very late, then work for many many hours. So, I couldn't allow for her to be my distraction (which was good and bad). So I worked, and worked. You would think I got a lot accomplished right? Well, for whatever reason, I don't feel that way.
Wow, ya know what I am thinking? I am thinking that PURITY is a very difficult thing. I mean purity in all things. Purity in spirituality, in my relationship with Janice, in how I view others; think of them, talk to them, treat them. Purity in work in school, in self-esteem. Purity needs to be in all aspects of life, but it is very difficult to keep all that in focus at times. I won't stop trying though. Never.
wished i could have heard back from you the other night. was really feeling down and could have used a boost. glad you had a nice weekend.. take care
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