LifeLight & birthday

If the print is too small to read, sorry, I don't know how to make it bigger. I just got a new web-browser. . .

Lifelight Church, or "Dave church," as I have referred to it so many times as, is officially starting Sunday morning services on September 13th. It is our "officially official" starting day. I am super excited, and if any of you are curious what it is all about, well I really challenge you to come and check it out. I have called it my church for some time now, but I get to enjoy it on Sunday mornings and that is really exciting for me. We will be meeting in a building that use to be the Fuzion Salon. If you want a picture of the place we will be meeting, go to my archive and click on the (May 1st, 2009) post, and you will see a picture of where we meet.

My amazing Grandmother and Grandfather. They are really something very awesome in my family. We are not a perfect family, and we do have our faults and failures. We have our addictions and our black sheep. But the one thing that resounds above all else is the love that trickles down from high above. First from God, then to the creators of our moms and uncles and so on. My grandparents have given a lot to this family. And today, on my Grandpa's 80th Birthday, we celebrated that. In a big way too.

80 years old is really getting up there. And my oh my how he (Carl, my grandfather) has made good use of his time. My G'Pa took over for his brother so many years ago. He married my grandmother after she had already had 5 children with Carl's brother. My grandpa married her anyways, and loved those children as best he could. He also had two more children with my grandmother. The man is a hard worker, and he loves the lord. Two great characteristics in a man. There was magic shows and awesome food. But, the best time in my opinion came when everyone got an opportunity to share a little bit with Grandpa and everyone about what they remembered, be it a story, or just a thanks for something he has done or how he had impacted us. I believe it really touched him in a deep way. That man has done so much just for me alone. I am deeply moved by him and my grandma. He really loved the new LCD flat screen HD t.v. his kids got him too. ;o) It was a good day.

Many of my family members asked me about Janice today. I was very proud to tell them about her and share her pictures with them. It feels good to share Janice with people who have known me for so long. It's a very good thing to be so proud of someone. I am really tired, it is time to go to bed. Tomorrow I must study study study.

TA TA!!

I got an update for ya's

It has been a while, I definitely haven't blogged for a couple of days. Well, some things that have happened. To start off with, I got a Spanish tutor. I found her on CraigsList. Luckily, she has not tried to kill me yet, so I am comfortable with that whole part. I feel like she is really good for me because she is super patient, and has tons of super good tips on how to remember things. I know one thing that has been in my mind constantly, with no let up. Janice, the more time goes by, the more I fall for her. I miss her so much, and love to just hear her voice. Keeping God the central point in our relationship is something we both strive for, at times it is difficult because it is so easy to make someone you super care for an idol, but we do good to keep everything in check, and I feel really good about that.
I am so crazy about her though. Truly a blessing from God. And the fact that she is from L.A., well it's not scary anymore. In fact, it has become a blessing for me personally. Difficult? YES!! But, I see all the positive things that come out of it. First and foremost is the fact that we both have to grow with God on our own. I love this girl though. I really do. I am crazy about every part of her. She never get's to see it to the fullest extent, but I am just at peace when I talk with her. Usually when we talk on the phone, I have the biggest grin on my face. I have been working for the YMCA pretty consistently here this week. And I will continue to do so next week. I am subbing for them, and so for right now I am subbing at two different sites. That means two different groups of kids. Some of which are crazy. Some of which may have some serious instability and love to tell you to shut up and wouldn't listen to you to save their soul. I have on several occasions said to myself, "I don't paid enough to deal with this," but I keep moving forward with as much patience as I can manage to have. I got to spend some time with Nicky today, and will be continuing to do so here as the days keep moving forward.

My health is good, and my parents are good, and I am still in Spanish. I haven't gone completely insane because of the stress it puts on me. In fact I am learning how to deal with it. BSF starts up soon, and I can't wait for that. BSF is awesome, because I feel like I really grow the most in Christ when I am in and at it. That is when it is the most bright to me. I have been seeing a lot of really sweet clouds lately. I really appreciate the beauty of some clouds. Also, I am still reading through 1 Samuel, and it is a great book. . . a lot like all the other books in the Bible (great that is).

So. . . When I make an idiot of myself, I really go all out. Today proved that point in a big way. Okay, so a little background story. I went in town to go to a party. It was a party that I went to last year that my old professor Tom puts on. He does it for past students, even students that he had when he was a high school teacher. So people from all walks of life are there. Of course, I am the youngest, but these people are quality, and Tom is the man, so it is a super fun atmosphere to talk about God and to just share life together. I showed up at his house and no other cars were there. . . . "hummmmm," I thought. I checked my phone, and it turns out it is not till the 19th. NOT FOR TWO MORE WEEKS!! Ohh well, I was close to Nicky's (my best friends brother) house, so I thought I would go and spend some time with him, ya know see how he is doing and how Snider high school is treating him. When I got over there, his dad Ted asked me if I would be interested in putting something together for him. After talking for a bit, I said sure i'll put that contraption together for ya at my house. He gave me $20 to do it and so I called George and put it together. It is some vertical upriser thingy that is supposed to straighten out your back. You can see it on late night infomercials. George and I had a heck of a time putting it together. I had Janice on SKYPE with us through most of the assembly part too. She really wanted to see me try it out, so I got it together and well. . . I was not very careful, and as I was leaning back for the very first time I smashed the foot part of it into my moms lamp. It made the lamp fall towards the computer (luckily it didn't hit it) and smashed into a million pieces. I was stuck in the machine, George was laughing hysterically, and Janice along with her roommate Vicky watched on the web-cam from across the country. It was really a horribly funny situation. It was like something you would watch on a late night BBC sketch. It was very funny, but I destroyed my moms lamp. And I'm sorry about that mom. :o) Thanks for reading,

G'Night!

I do not have time, I should not be BLOGGING right now. . .

Seriously, this is crazy. I have many many things that must take priority over creating a BLOG post, yet here I am, BLOGGing away. Anyways, enjoy my life, cuz seriously, I do. No matter how stressful and crazy it may get, I like it a lot.

Flash cards have become my best friend. I went to get my oil changed today, and you better believe I was going over my verb tenses & conjugation & what not.

I have been hanging out with little kids a lot because I am subbing for the YMCA. It's a good thing I love little kdis so much. Otherwise, I don't think I would like this job. That was a stupid comment, but I am super tired, mentally and physically.

I will meet my Spanish Tutor tomorrow. I have already started seeing a tutor provided by the University, but I need way more 1on1 help. So, I got on CraigsList and found a lady who charges $5/20 minutes. I hope she is all that and a box of rocks.

A little boy at Foster Park Elementary School named Donovon drew this picture of a Robot for me. I think he called it the THREE Six Thousand. That kid is crazy. Love him though.

It is 11pm Right now, and I should probably stay up and finish reading and taking notes for Chapter 2 in Applied leadership. But, I feel I will be completely useless if I don't get some sleep. I am going to brush my teeth, and hit the sack.

God is so good to me.

G'Night!

Love ya Janice, what you told me on the phone tonight will resonate in my heart and mind until I see you again.

just read

At times, this lie creeps into my mental frame work and eXplodes through body language, speech, lack of eye contact, etc. I refer to it as a lie because I am mentally and spiritually mature enough to recognize ideas concepts and feelings that do not have a justifiable foundation to them. But, this lie that occasionally creeps into my existence fills me with insecurities. Insecurities that tell me I am not working hard enough, that I am not smart enough, that I am not where I ought to be with God. Also, usually when these feelings arise the old saying, “When it rains, it pours” seems to be especially true. I want nothing more than to be a man of God. I want to be known as a man of God who has a plan; and feels confident in following through with that plan. My experience though, shows me that life will not simply allow you to walk down her halls of circumstantial dizziness without kicking while you are down once, twice, or maybe a dozen times when you are at your weakest point. In a nutshell, that was today. Yes, I learned lessons, and did my best to keep the communication with God first and foremost. But, I lost a couple battles; battles to control my anger, battles to control my tongue, and battles to keep my own self-regard in a high and positive place our of the reach of the deceiver.

I know these feelings are not right, because I know God is not holding a magnifying glass to my life squinting his eyes in displeasure waiting to smite me for my stupidity. I understand Grace, and know full well that he is giving it to me in abundance on a daily basis. But still, at times these feelings overwhelm me and leave me feeling low. The feelings of inadequacy stem from my deep desire to do well, I mean really succeed in all things school, Young Life, relational, etc. When I see myself deviate from my initial goals, I get really hard on myself. I mean it, I really look at myself as a failure, even with things that are not a big deal. I have trouble giving myself grace sometimes. Just to give you a little insight. I didn't study my Spanish homework tonight, because every time I try to study Spanish on my own, I feel so incredibly worthless, I almost can't put words to it. I embarrasse myself, and I feel completely inadequate. I friggin hate that feeling, so I just avoided it. Now, I am getting a tutor tomorrow. But still, that was just an example.

If you are saying, "dang Mikey, your days don't usually end on this sad of a point, is that all there is?" Well it's not. And there was a huge point of reassurance. I am honored to say that point came through my dad. After seeing my frustration manifest itself through tensed up body language, inward talk (rackin frackin etc.), and just a low demanor. My dad asked me, right as dinner was being prepared. "Hey, you wanna go for a walk?" I said, "Yes." It was soo good. Now, he did not say anything that was so deep that it gave me a new perspective on looking at life and my place in it. He did not offer me advice that enlightened me to see things a new way. He didn't need to. He assured me that things were going to be okay, and lifted me up. He encouraged me that I am more than able and that God doesn't put us in situations we can't handle. I left that walk feeling a whole heck of a lot better. He assured me about Janice & I, and just let me know things were gonna be okay. Doesn't mean that the confusion is gone, but it does mean that my dad is a real man; that he loves his son, and boy do I appreciate him a whole hell of a lot.

the truth will set you free

Today was great. Well, I guess the early part of the day was not so great. I guess I forgot during my time in Arizona how much I hate to study subjects that just really suck. I am referring to Applied Leadership & Spanish. And maybe "suck" is too strong of an adjective, possibly too negative too. I will now choose to use the word ....subjects that are "super challenging and out of the norm," to replace suck. That sounds better now. You might think, "Well, I bet if he is complaining so much about studying, he probably at least got a lot done." You would be wrong. It is amazing how much I do not get accomplished when I "study."

I got to go back to Dave Church today!!! It felt so good to be back there with those guys. And at a new location. It is amazing to see what God is doing. I also got to take two high school friends with me. Adam and his friend John. I took Adam to camp in North Carolina, and he decided to invite his friend to Dave church tonight. It was good, they may have felt slightly uncomfortable, but I still say it was good.

Dave church is so refreshing to me because it is so genuine. We all really love each other. We all really love the Lord. When you put those two things together, well it is just real good. And I have missed hearing Dave talk. I love taking notes on what the Lord has been teaching or prompting him in. I love reading back on those notes after some time and saying, "ohh yeah," all over again.

Ya know that expression, "take time to stop and smell the roses?" Well, today I didn't smell any roses, but I did take time to look at the sky. The sky was so beautiful today. I think I was on my way to go pick up Adam and his friend when I took this picture.

The sky was so darn beautiful today. I couldn't help but admire it in all it's splender. The clouds just went on and on and on. This is an Indiana sky, through and through. When I saw it, I thought to myself, "Man I wish Janice could be here enjoying it with me." We both love looking at the sky. Maybe we are both day dreamers. Whatever it is, I sure wish she could have been here to enjoy it with me.


After I got home from Dave Church (Lifelight Ministries), I talked on the phone with Janice. Then we got on SKYPE together. Okay, what I am about to say is going to be full with confusion. For you, the reader anyways. But, just try to sift through it as best as you can. Janice and I, well we both love each other. And relationships are challenging. Sometimes those challenges are built/created before two people even meet each other. That is the case for Janice and I. There are some things that are difficult to hear, mostly because I am sissy when it comes to certain topics. BUT, God keeps prompting me to not avoid a paticular topic, and to embrace it head on with love and compassion. So, that is what I did, and boy am I glad I did. I prayed and prayed and prayed about God doing something in my heart that gave me a different outlook on a specific topic. That I could have His eyes, and His heart. He did just that and more. Not only was it relatively easy for me to listen to Janice. As she spoke, I just "KNEW" that much more that she is supposed to be in my life. What a good feeling. What an amazing, grace filled feeling.


Our converation got cut short, but we will pick up tomorrow where we left off. I love that girl though, I mean I really love her. I love her and I am just so happy to be able to walk through life with her (emotionally & spiritually of course). Some day I will be there physically. . . some day


To end the night, I went and saw District 9 with George. Now, I would not take Janice to see this movie, but we both really enjoyed it. Because we are a couple of nerds.

I took more pictures, but I don't feel like uploading any more. It was a supid plot, but we laughed and enjoyed it for what it was. A "Dude flick." And i'm okay with that.

Janice, I love you. I am so glad you are in my life. You are a blessing to me in more ways than you can understand. I am excited to see what God is going to do in our relationship. Hang in there and know that I am praying for ya all the time. You are constantly on my mind, and I really want to honor God in our relationship. You're the best, and I really hope you enjoyed Dimitri Martin tonight.

G'Night all!

Simply Saturday

This candle caused me some headache today. It was my own fault, but still a headache. I was not watching it very closely while I was studying, and it overflowed all over my that wood thing it sits on. Anyways, even though it did that, I cleaned it up and lit it again. And well, I am going to be perfectly honest with you. That candle is singlehandandly the biggest reason why my room smells so delightful. I just thought I would share that with you.

I guess it depends on what you definition of simple is. I did not have to think things through too much. It came pretty natural what I would do. I studied (it takes me a whole day of studying to accomplish next to nothing. . . darn distractions) again, for what seemed like an eternity. Then I got a text message from Ryan Pelton, friend and fellow Young Life leader informing me that he would be leading a worship time at some church in Fort Wayne. Well, I texted some of the Young Life guys I took to camp to see if they would like to go. One said YES. So we went.

The worship time was amazing. There was dancing, and shouting. People laid on the floor, and sincerely took whatever stance they felt comfortable taking. It was a powerful time with God. A time that felt completely and unavoidably wonderful. I am so glad I got to experience it with Adam (Young Life friend). I am so glad he got to see what I love so much. I feel so at home in a worship time. The challenge is taking that "worship" feeling out of the safety of that room, and bringing it to the average man and woman on the street. The challenging part is bringing that love and joy into a circumstance that seems joyless. Well the challenge is on, and I want to try to do this one to the best of my ability. Dang do I ever. I couldn't help but think tonight, "Man, I really super wish that Janice was with me. I wish she could experience this with me." I even said that to God in prayer. But the resounding answer was that she needs to find that Joy in and through Christ on her own. And for some reason I felt extremely comforted by it. I know she loves the lord, but I can't bring these specific experiences to her. She must first want them, and must have that desire to seek them out in her own life. I just love her and want her to expedience it with me NOW!! That is not how God has it set up though. Not now anyways. And I am just gonna have to be okay with that.

There was one line during a specific song that really hit me.

"In my life, be lifted high"

"In our world, be lifted high"

"In our love, be lifted high"

I can't think of anything I want more than for God to be lifted high in all those things. I lose sight of what is most important so often though. How can I forget so easily what is so important? There is nothing more important. NOTHING! Not family, not jobs, not school, not friends, not success, not desires. He must be lifted high in all things. It is the never ending challenge of dying to myself every single day. With the help of my savior, friend, and counselor, I can do it. I will not fear, for He is with me.

I made a decision today.

Sometimes you have to choose a path, and walk confidently down it. I came to that point. Do you think you can walk confidently and doubtful at the same time? Ehh, I already answered that question.

I have been feeling extremely stressed and uncomfortable about this semester. Mostly, because I have so so so much on my plate. Well, I figured it out. In order for me to be able to do my best in school, and to be able to put my all into Young Life. School is going to have to budge. I have decided to drop my COM 300 class and will just take it at a later time. Maybe I can take it this summer. I don't know. So, I will be dropping from 16 credit hours to 13. I don't like it, and it is not the perfect scenerio, but it is the one I have decided on.

One last thing. I told my parents today, "I really miss Janice." They kind of nodded their heads and said, "Well, yea I would imagine so." I feel incomplete without her. Like a tree standing alone in a vast desert.

Now I believe with all my heart that God has placed this large space of time and distance inbetween us. I trust in Him completely, knowing that it must be what is best, and even able to see many of the Pro's in a long distance relationship. BUT, that doesn't make it suck any less on a day to day basis. Thank goodness for SKYPE, cell phones, and other technology that makes the distance not seem so far.

I'm super tired, I am going to wake up tomorrow, and read read read!

G'Night!

LOVE YOU JANICE!