It's New Years EVE

I like to live my life as an open book because it provides me with accountability and allows me to look back and remember things I may have otherwise forgotten. But, the only negative part is living as an open book allows people to see your strengths and weaknesses. After the wedding reception on Saturday, I went back to my friend Jason’s house. I was with ole high school chums, and totally justified drinking until I couldn’t walk straight. It was a mistake, and I believe it takes away from my witness and on a more personal level it takes a little bit away from my self worth. The good news is, I am forgiven and won’t let it stand in the way of bettering myself. This morning I woke up and went to 6AM Bible study, I told the guys what I did and how it made me feel. It was healthy for me not to have to keep it bottled up inside. Then I went home and cleaned up the house. My mom and pops are in Tennessee for New Years, so I decided to clean my mom’s car to surprise her with a gleaming ride when she gets home. Amidst all the cleaning and vacuuming I came across my book, “The Masters Plan for Evangelism.” It was so awesome and strange. I decided to clean that car just to be nice, and then BAM, I find this awesome book I have been looking for. Maybe I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to read the rest of that book before. I do know that I am super glad I found it, and even more glad that God offers GRACE!There it was just hiding under the passenger side seat. It must have gotten dropped back there one morning when my mom was giving me a ride to work.

The rest of the day went as follows.....
I went to gymnastics practice, the girls are nervous for their first meet on Thursday, which they very well should be because they aren't prepared and don't take the attendance policy seriously so only 2 out of 11 are competing. I wasn't planning on doing anything until my friend Jorden called me and asked if I wanted to come over and hang with him and some other guys from my high school. Not like guys that I hung out with, but Christian guys that I was very cool with. In high school I mostly hung out with the druggies and so fourth. So, it was really nice to be able to go to Jordens house and watch the IU vs. OSU game that was in Arizona.

It wasn't anything like last years New Year, but I enjoyed it, and I don't regret anything. I have made my mind up on what my resolution is and feel confident about keeping it. It's going to be a great year, this 2008. I can tell already.

nothing but lazy

Today was a lot a bit of lazy followed by some nothing. I laid around the house & was uber bord. I finally got myself up and around to go to Collateral at Brookside, but when I showed up at 7:30, there were no cars in the parking lot. I guess I didn't get the MEMO that collateral wasn't going on over break. hummmmmmm I found some pictures off of Face Book that people added of me. Thought I would share them. Darn good looking guys!
I told you, the guy doesn't have much to him. It is his wedding night, no facial expression whatSOever.

congrats to Megan & Andy

me * Britt (my date) I know she is beautiful!! Love you Britt!

Crazy Joel with his arms up. Glad he could add a little bit of character to the otherwise boring picture. The reception was fun, the Eichels were zuper drunk. And the happy couple. Yes, this is Andy's happy face.... 20 & 21 years of age. I wish them many, many years of happiness together. But through the wedding and reception I couldn't help but think, "why the heck are these two married?" It could have a little something to do with the fact that I want a serious relationship. Why can't I feel so strongly about someone that I want to get married? I know, I know & I am trusting for the right time and place. But the feelings are there and they are strong feelings.

It was fun to see friends from High school and all that jazz. All in all, it was a nice wedding.

Today is Friday

(posted @ 8:24 AM)

This morning showed me the perfect example of Christian men living out their faith and it was a POWERFUL act to be a part of. So, we met up at the house a little after 6AM. We sat down, chatted a little bit and then spoke about one of the members who hasn't been showing up this week. It isn't necessary to say why, but he has just been struggling with some big issues. Instead of falling on his faith and Christian friends, he has been stuffing the emotions and issues down deeper within himself. SO, we (group of 4 guys) collectively made the decision to go to his house and confront him with prayer. As soon as we showed up we started laying hands on his home and praying he would pick up his phone. 5-10 minutes later he did, and he came to the front door and let us in. We laid hands on him and prayed fervently. The Holy Spirit took over, it is so powerful! It kind of reminded me of a mission trip to Mexico I took when I was much younger. In the Spanish culture, they pray out loud in large groups of people. I use to think it was so confusing, now I feel the power in all the words. I don't have to hear or take in the words, they aren't for me. But knowing that prayers are being sent to my heavenly father on my behalf is something that is so strengthening. PRAISE GOD! This is what Christian men should do. This act should not be kept still, it needs to happen more often. I don't want to be a stale Christian. It was such a unique and powerful feeling. You don't have to go to Africa and see all the aids victims to stir up your spirituality, just find someone in need and love them.

Gymnastics practice was cancelled because of possible “bat weather.” I said it was a bad idea, and also said that the roads weren’t going to get bad. They didn’t, and that is just one more practice the girls are missing out on. ~SIGH~ I am just disappointed because I don’t have anyone to hang out with that is fun for me. I hung out with my best friend and his g/f, but they smoke and there was constant bad language, and it just gets me down. I really wish I could find a guy that I could relate to that would just be fun to hang out with. Maybe once I get back into class again. YEAH!!!

I feel like the lonely wolf howling in the wind, waiting for a reply. I’m not complaining, I am just saying how I feel at the moment. It is blatant truth.

Step 1, COMPLETED

Once I woke up this morning I called IPFW (local university) admissions office and scheduled an appointment for me to come and speak with an advisor for 2:30PM. I went over and sat down with a lady named Maria and got everything set up. I enrolled in the Psychology department and the funny thing that I just realized is on the little piece of paper where it asked what course of study will you be interested in? I put “Psycology,” so I am off to a good start. LOL. I feel really confident with my decision, and I am being extremely proactive and taking all the measures I need to take in order for the school to work around my disability. I am going to take advantage instead of “for granted” of all the affirmative action programs available to me. I believe that getting back in school will be extremely difficult and a huge task. But, I have proven track record of taking monumental challenges head on and not giving in. I feel really good about my decision, and I am even a little bit excited to get back into the class setting. I have a big smile on my face right now as I am writing this. When I was taking classes at IPFW before, I wasn’t motivated for anything. I didn’t have any direction or reason for being there. Now, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. This was a really good decision. Now the challenge is keeping this mind set when the “going gets tough.”

We had a good practice at gymnastics. I am super sore though. And I noticed that at one point, after spotting a girl I started seeing stars for a bit. I took a deep breath, and waited for things to feel normal again. I wonder if this is typical? I also found a really great online chat group that is constantly online. It is an MS support group, and it is a great place to get questions answered. very informative and helpful.

I am looking forward to Bible study tomorrow. I also found out that if you press the shift button 5 times, it brings up something called "sticky keys." It is crazy the things you find out just by randomly doing things. HA!

I love it!

So, today I could have laid around and been really lazy. I didn't have anything that I "had" to do; so what was keeping me from being super lazy? Maybe it was an inward voice, or possibly just a longing to better myself. I woke up super early and made it to Bible study at 6AM. This paid off quite nicely, and I was filled with the word of God, which strengthened my witness & spirit. It does so much good for the inward being to be able to be around like minded individuals. It really does. When I got home I worked out, and read a bit out of this new book I am attempting to read and comprehend. It is called The Knowledge of the Holy, by A.W. Tozer.As I am reading it, I feel like it is above my level of comprehension. SO, this means I have a bit of a challenge. I find myself reading the same sentence over and over again, but I am high lighting a lot and getting something out of it. I am going to stick with it, because it will be a good method of comprehension practice and it will challenge me in my spiritual walk.

I watched a bit of Law & Order because I do love that show and then eventually made it to Gymnastics Practice @ 5:30. I LOVE being a coach, I get so much out of it, and I am so thankful Michelle called me up when she found they needed someone. That really makes me feel amazing. I got a chance to go out to eat at Banditos with coaches Michelle, Lori, and her husband. It was so much fun to be a coach talking about coach stuff. Just a great experience. It really was. I feel like I am accomplishing something. The girls are great, and I just want them to do great things.

Such a simple day, yet so fulfilling. Truly fulfilling. You can see Lori and her Hubby to the left. You can see my nose and Michelle's arm to the right. We had a great time, I felt like a grown up. Talking about important things, and giving input about things that actually mattered. "You want my opinion?" It felt so good. So many other things happened today as well.

For my memory's sake. The girl from Centennial called just to ask me how the unveiling of my gifts to my mother and sister went. That was really why she called me. I was so taken by that, I felt extremely blessed to get her phone call. And I really believed that she called because she was genuinely interested about how it went for me and my loved ones. I am SO blessed!

Merry Christmas Jesus

When I hear the word Christmas, shouldn’t I smile and be happy for the life of my savior? I’ll go ahead and answerer that question, yes. Christmas time isn’t special anymore, I feel disgusted when I say that too. CHRISTmas has been so covered up, so transformed. I am dismayed when I read or hear things in the news about people having to say happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I do it too though; it is so easy to get caught up in the presents and decorations. I suppose it isn’t wrong as long as the real reason is kept held in high regards. I am so thankful for the life Jesus lead, for the example he gave us and for the gift he gave us. I can’t help but sink back in my chair a little bit when I really think about it.

I did have a good Christmas though, I got to see some an amazing smile on my sisters face when she opened her new phone, and I am like 90% sure my dad liked the new bird feeder I got him. And of course, my mom loved the remote car starter/unlocker I got for her Camry.

I LOVED the game of rummy cube I got to play with my mom & sister. Even with all the distractions, the basics are what always bring me back to the "good love." I am thankful for my family. I am so grateful that God placed me in this family with "good love."

It was a good Christmas.

I also made the decision to get my butt back in School. IPFW starts classes up again on the 14th, I am going to do everything in my power to get back in classes by then. It is going to be cutting it close, but I think I can do it. I am intimidated by school, but I feel like it is what I need to be doing. I can do it, and I can overcome all the obstacles. BAM, I SAID IT!!!