- One way in which my family discusses health-related issues is actually with me. Between my wife and I, we have to have very open and intentional communication pertaining to my individual health. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was 18 years old, and even though my M/S symptoms have been in remission for quite some time (due to the medication I am currently on), my wife and I have a very open understanding towards how we talk about it. I must communicate honestly and specifically about any health-issue that may come up with her right away. She has to trust that I am not ignoring any symptoms for her own mental health (not worrying about me, etc.) as well as my physical health (so that I don't ignore or belittle any change in my health). This type of communication is referred to as "HIGH EXPRESSIVENESS."
- Another factor that impacts my family is the way in which my wife and I communicate about any type of issue. This is so essential to health because the text defines "unhappily married persons as being generally less healthy than those who are unmarried." I think this is important because my wife and I deal with issues right away because we want to have the type of marriage that prolongs our lives together, rather than take away. When we have an issue, like we did the other day. We deal with it right away. Hilary was bothered because I was making plans without first checking with her. This bothered her because I was only thinking about my schedule, rather than "OUR" schedule. While directly this isn't a health-related issue, it could become one if it was left unattended. If it festered inside of her, it could lead to stress or negative feelings towards me.
- The last example I would like to comment on with regard to health-related messages would be with respect to my brother-in-law Blake who lives just 1 block away. Blake moved to Fort Wayne right after Hilary & I got married in August. One of the main motivators for Blake moving was to get away from many of the negative influences that he had on him in his small town. Drugs, alcohol, and high-risk living were prevalent in the typical weekend for Blake back home with his friends. Since it was such a quick change, it wouldn't have been realistic for Hilary and I to expect it to just immediately STOP. As I discussed in my last posting, we recently ran into an issue or a "relapse" with Blake. However, Hilary and I do not see the "no-tolerance" strategy as one that would have been effective and supportive for what Blake is trying to accomplish in his life. Hilary & I are consistent with having "on-going" communication with Blake about where he is at, how struggles are effecting him, etc. We are also use extremely encouraging communication with him with respect to the addiction classes he choose to be a part of called, CELEBRATE RECOVERY. If we would have administered the "no-tolerance" type of behavior with Blake, he wouldn't have been able to get to the place in where he is currently at, which is extremely proactive and positive.
DIGITAL ISSUES: The way in which my family deals with the digital age is that when we are together, we do not utilize our phones. Especially when we are on "DATE NIGHT," which is typically on Saturdays and Thursdays, we make a huge effort to not use our phones to talk to other people. We want to stay focused on each other, so that we are the main focus. It communicates importance and love.
REACTION QUESTION:
For this reaction question I looked at Talena Knight's web page. It is interesting because Talena's family has a totally different situation than my family. She has a younger child (age 10) in her family; her son. She has to deal with his limited internet use, and the fact that he is really wanting a cell phone. She feels that this is causing a rift in their relationship because he may be having the mind set that Talena doesn't trust him. When in actuality, Talena is just trying to protect him from the dangers of the internet, and trying to prevent him from getting into the world of "cell phones" too early. She also doesn't think it's necessary for him to have one this young. When I contrast this with my family, we (my wife, myself, and my brother-in-law) are all so established in our technology, that there is no way it could really be limited like Talena has to do with her son. This is very interesting. My family, however, is going to be having to deal with this issue eventually when we have children. And probably, once they are old enough to need a cell phone, there will be a whole new world of issues.
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