Family Analysis

1.) POWER BASES: My wife, yes, I chose to say whom I am using, has an autonomic power base. We very much share responsibilities, but in completely different areas. She is in charge of cooking, and dinner. I am in charge of making the vehicles are taken care of and the trash is taken out (she hates taking out the trash). The resources that are used are very much normative in nature. Not only does society kind of point to certain expectations that we both value, but those are actually what are important to us. Now, if we were both influenced by society, or if that is what is actually important to us, I couldn't say for sure. Maybe a little bit of both. Successful use of power is using what she is good at, and using it to positively impact me and my behavior.

2.) Our family is very much conversation oriented. With Hilary and I, as well as both of us with Blake, we always talk things out. If there is an issue, or even a hint of an issue in the eyes of the other family member, the question will always be raised, "is something wrong?" What happens after that question is thrown out is proof that our family is very much conversation oriented. We talk about everything, the good, bad, and ugly. Everything is brought to the metaphorical "table" to be talked about. I find this to be extremely successful because my family does not hold things back, if there is an issue, we will talk it through until all involved feel good about whatever the issue may have been about.

3.) With regard to the McMaster Model of Family Functioning:
Dang, there is a lot here. . . I'll touch on some of these.
- Hil and I both openly talk about our sexual needs, and are very sensitive to what we both need. We communicate openly about them, and when they aren't met, we talk at how we can change something in order to do so. We feel very comfortable with this area.
- When Hil or Blake or myself are acting down, and depressed. Someone else will step in to try and figure out why. Once the issue is brought out into the open, we discuss it and look for a solution or just provide support to let the struggling individual know they are not alone.
- Hil is very supportive of my individual development. She knows I need to follow my passions, and is supporting me while I finish up school. I am doing the same for her; being very sensative of her career path, and what is best for her. I know she won't have much of a future in Fort Wayne with her specific career field, so moving elsewhere is going to probably become a reality. We will both support each other to find the best fit.
- Kinship maintenance: Every Thursday, Hil and I have set aside a "date night." This is a good time for us to have fun and alone with each other. We are very involved with a lot of people in our lives. So, when we set aside a day for just us, it is very special.
- Basic resources. Hil is the bread winner. Simply put, she is providing so that I can finish school, etc.

4. Hil and I are definitely Traditionals. We are extremely satisfied with each other, and we fit all the roles of a happy married couple. This is so true for us because we put Christ first in our marriage and lives.

5.) Hil and I have Validating conflict types. We sometimes do disagree, but we always try to step in the shoes of the other individual. We are sensitive so disagreements don't explode into something that isn't necessary.

6.) Hil and I have open family boundaries. We pretty much have to because of our involvement with Young Life (high school ministry I work for, and Hil volunteers for). Anything can come up, and we are both ready and willing to change our schedules in order to meet that possibility.

REACTION QUESTION:

I looked at Kira Zabolotney’s family. I noticed that Kira’s mom used the affective resource. She used manipulation of her family in order to push her own needs. This is a very frightening use of power, and would not work in my family. It wouldn’t work because we communicate about our issues and whatever individual attempting to use this type of power would be questioned on it almost as soon as it happened.